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infrequent flyers program

by defsharp

supported by
Fasteroid
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Fasteroid It's just a good electronic rock album, nuff said really.

Tough to pick a favorite from this album, but if I had to choose it'd be glass fort, since it combines all the best ideas from the album into one track. Favorite track: glass fort.
phoebe andromeda
phoebe andromeda thumbnail
phoebe andromeda such a precious album, tysm defsharp <3 Favorite track: glass fort.
sludgehub
sludgehub thumbnail
sludgehub the perfect nostalgic euphoria trip. everything defsharp touches turns to gold. i don't know why i'm only just purchasing this album, its emotional and moorish songs have been on my mind since release. Favorite track: offense mechanism.
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1.
Get with the program! Get with the program! Right down to my nerves I'm getting tired Of waking up past noon Bite down, it's my turn To figure out my life Before I lose you Took a breath Need a sec I can't run away Took a breath Need a sec I can't run away Feels like death On this deck Guess I just had to pay Spilled that paint All on my pants I spent that paycheck on my Get with the program! Get with the program (A little bit more enthusiasm) Get with the program!
2.
tell me 02:37
I wasn't ready for this at all Something different in the air Felt I needed to stall Guess I got tied up around the bends Cleared my mind There you were again As cliche as it sounds I don't want it to end Tell me what you wanna do Show me what you're gonna do This isn't really what i thought it'd be (Thought it'd be) I knew I'd figure it out eventually But you already knew that you'd fold me Does it make sense? Cuz i don't think that it does But if we're living our lives It shouldn't matter to us (Shouldn't matter to us) But I guess I got tied up around the bends Cleared my mind There you were again As cliche as it sounds I don't want it to end Tell me what you wanna do Tell me what you wanna do But if everything crashes down And I can't control the Mess I made that you found I don't know if I could do this
3.
Ask your friends about it I don't wanna talk to you right now Why'd it have to go like this How did I deal with this before I know it isn't my fault But I can't seem to get around it (Seem to get around it) I don't wanna take the fall anymore But I don't wanna be selfish (Selfish) I know I shouldn't even care Cuz it isn't my problem (Isn't my problem) But it isn't fucking fair You know I can't understand it for you I'm tired of lying too Can't recall what I said But I know it was true Sometimes everyone loses This time you can choose it What you want, how you want it I can't handle this right now I'm guessing that you found it (Guessing that you found it) The reason I don't call anymore I'm losing interest by the second (Second) I think you need to get some air Choking down your emotions (Choking down your emotions) You know this shit was never fair Always going through the motions You know I can't understand it for you I'm tired of lying too Can't recall what I said But I know it was true Sometimes everyone loses This time you can choose it What you want, how you want it I can't handle this right now You know I can't understand it for you I'm tired of lying too Can't recall what I said But I know it was true Sometimes everyone loses This time you can choose it What you want, how you want it I can't handle this right now
4.
You always say that you're sorry But you never apologize Why don't you look me in the eye Too much to handle I guess I need a little time To get out you out of my mind Always just second chances Should've left this all behind Why did you waste so much of my life Still think about it too much I think I'm losing sight Of what I should've denied You already became the person you didn't wanna be And you know that You cast me to the side and push me to the ground just to see If I'd come back Can't ever make up my mind Do you need to be that close You've only made me feel alone I don't have time to waste Yet I'm still paralyzed By everything that you've faked You already became the person you didn't wanna be And you know that You cast me to the side and push me to the ground just to see If I'd come back Always on the offensive, I need a break I tend to be pensive, don't give me what you've taken You must be mistaken, we aren't close like that We'll never be close like that Don't act so defensive, it just feels fake Pretend you didn't mention it, i'll stay away I let everyone down again I let everyone down I let everyone down again
5.
to get older 03:57
i don’t even recognize my reflection anymore is this what it feels like to get older? wait at the station, take pictures, like before i know i’m worse off when it’s colder does it hurt to lie every time put on a front for the night pretend you’re fine i could’ve given up but i’m still here i could’ve given up but i’m still here is this what it feels like to get older? did you even try to make it right or did you hide inside and waste your life i could’ve given up but i’m still here i could’ve given up but i’m still here
6.
flower bed 06:33
7.
glass fort 04:57
red-eyes every weekend is the feeling even there anymore tried to hide in the deep end but at some point you kinda get bored spent the night when i shouldn’t have dirty laundry all over the floor didn’t occur that i’d be back at square one but who’s keeping score? can’t keep changing my mind but i don’t know when to quit i’m running out of time there’s not enough of it is there another way out or another way in i’m losing all of my friends they’re gettin tired of my sh- time moves faster when you’re trying your hardest to wait another night plastered just to forget what i got on my plate second thoughts on the runway i don’t think i wanna be alone it’s high time to try and loosen up and put down the phone can’t keep changing my mind but i don’t know when to quit i’m running out of time there’s not enough of it is there something i'm missing? am i shit out out of luck? getting too easy to run but my friends don’t give a fu- there’s something tearing me down i’m fucking up when i shouldn’t what’s even keeping me around? things i’d wish i said but i couldn’t if it all comes back to me but i can’t define what i see what does any of it really mean? was any of me really me something on your mind? you change it every time something on your mind? you change it every time

about

rolling tides magazine, issue 104
may 27th, 2022

a lot can happen over the course of a year as i've come to learn. i feel like i lived a large portion of my life in slow motion, completely removed from the "moment." I've hated myself profusely. my face, my voice, my hair, my clothes, my body, my everything, and at some points it felt like I was undeserving of praise, or even love. i had no idea who i was.

times got grim. i'd thought, "if i don't know who i am, maybe i shouldn't be anyone at all. if i'm not even living for myself, what am i living for?" of course these kinds of thoughts were fleeting, but i figured if i was thinking about them at least even the smallest amount... i don't know.

this will be my last submission to the magazine for a while. i think i'm going to try and be my own person for once. thank you for all of the wonderful advice, and for all of the wonderful help.

sincerely signed,
an infrequent flyer

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released May 27, 2022

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